Shattered and Pieced Together Again

And so it goes:

The coming and going,
The greetings and goodbyes.
You are there and I am here;
The distance feels so bitter.

So I wonder and I wander,
Heart grieving and rejoicing,
A harmony of sorrow and joy,
Of feeling empty and full all at once,
Where heartache and beauty exist in the same breath.

Perhaps learning to be whole is actually learning to be shattered and pieced together again.

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Every day I’m still looking for God
and I’m still finding him everywhere,
in the dust, in the flowerbeds.
Certainly in the oceans,
In the islands that lay in the distance
Continents of ice, countries of sand
Each with its own set of creatures
And God, by whatever name.
How perfect to be aboard a ship with
Maybe a hundred years still in my pocket.
But it’s late, for all of us,
And in truth the only ship there is
Is the ship we are all on
Burning the world as we go.

On Traveling to Beautiful Places by Mary Oliver

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Everything feels uncertain and yet certain all at once.

Each morning, I raise the blinds halfway. The sun casts shadows through my living room windows. Suddenly, the contrast of light and dark doesn’t feel so heavy.

I peer out into the courtyard. The seasons are changing; the once barren trees are lush; the birds call to one another. I hear the dog in the unit above me, his claws against the hardwood. Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone.

I’ve been running for what feels like a lifetime. But from whom? Towards what? Myself? These questions remain but they’re not quite as daunting. Not every question needs to be answered, at least not right now.

I’m learning that stillness is good. No – it’s necessary for survival. There is wonderment, even in the quiet, in the mundane, in the unhurried ordinary. These shadows, this light, remind me of just that.

The pressure now lighter, the weight now lifted. Was it a change of pace, of space, of identity? I’m not quite sure but I’m welcoming this sense of contentment, even if life hasn’t quite unfolded as I had envisioned.

But that’s what makes this stillness rather remarkable. I am noticing again, all the little things. The big things too. The way watering my plants gives way to new life, the fresh shades of green, bright with promise and curiosity.

I feel this restoration in my spirit, curious once again. Not necessarily less fearful but open to the possibilities, recognizing in myself a stillness that has long felt unsettled.

May I choose to sit, to stand, to kneel, even if only for a moment, to notice the enchantment of life happening around me, happening for me, happening within me.

Prompt: Finding Stillness in Transience

[10-minute essay inspired by @liv.laf.luv.lol and @mkwiththehair]

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No constellation is as steadfast, no accomplishment as irrevocable as a connection between human beings which, at the very moment it becomes visible, works more forcefully in those invisible depths where our existence is as lasting as gold lodged in stone, more constant than a star.

— Rainer Maria Rilke

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Discovery giving way to dwindled dreams.

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“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” — The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

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